A open letter to my old therapist

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*Disclaimer, this post is a mental health related post An open letter to the first therapist I had. I do not want to trigger anyone so please use caution if you choose to read it*

Dear Dr. S, I realize it has been almost 3 years since we last spoke but there was a couple of things that you need to know that I let go unsaid.

I understand that your job is difficult, believe me I get that. You hear a lot of really disheartening stories/thoughts on a daily basis. On the other hand that in no way dismisses how you treated me.

Your words and actions lead to some very dangerous actions by me. You judged me and dismissed me, frankly for something I have no control over.

Why are you even a therapist?

To make things worse you had assumed the worst of me. By assuming I was using street drugs (something I have no history of by the way) you made it seem like my “diagnosis” was somehow caused by my actions.

Worse than that, you abandoned me. Something that caused me to question my own worth and in turn do something with potentially devastating consequences. I hurt myself and worst, I hurt my husband.

“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t” – John Green (Turtles all the way Down)

For that I blame you. Yes, I realize my overdose was caused by my own personal actions. But you made me feel abandoned and like I was a burden. No one should ever feel like that.

To read about my mental health story check out this post — My Mental health story.

Please reconsider your profession. Your job as a therapist is to listen to and try to help people the best you can. You are suppose to be understanding and non judgemental. Two things which you were not.

Please let me know down in the comments or email if you prefer (thephatgirlblog@hotmail.com) if you or someone you know have experienced something like this.

I want to believe that people go into professions like this because they genuinely want to help people (I hope anyways). I’m not sure where that dies but for this therapist I believe it has.

Please know that no matter what you are going through you are never alone, there is always hope. I’m always around to give a empathetic ear if you want/need one. Feel free to email me anytime.

Again my email is (thephatgirlblog@hotmail.com).

  • 2019 update, I found a amazing therapist June 2019. He listens, treats me like a actual person and actually wants to help me. There are people out there who want to help you, you just have to be willing to look for them.

Till next time friends

Tanya xoxo

14 thoughts on “A open letter to my old therapist”

  1. I am so, so sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry you ended up with such a nasty therapist. No therapist, or person, should make you feel that way.

    Not only is this a brave letter to write (even if Dr.S never reads it), but it could also help others who have been left feeling the same by therapy.

    I hope you managed to eventually find a good therapist. x

    1. Thank you, that’s why I posted it. Just incase it could help someone else. On a positive note I now have a amazing therapist who actually listens and treats me like a actual person. Never be afraid to look into other options, no one deserves to be treated like crap or made to feel worthless

  2. There are some therapists in this world who do more harm than help. Sadly, it seems as though you wound up with one who really hurt you, and for that, I am so sorry. It takes a lot of courage to go to therapy, and having a therapist do that to you has got to be devastating. I think this was incredibly strong of you to write and say out loud and I hope that it helped you, even penning this note, in some small way.

    Love and happy new year <3
    Onward and upward in 2020

  3. Some people really shouldn’t be in the profession they work in but therapists espechially should have the sense to take a step back if they find themselves getting bitter, worn out or dismissive. Sorry you have to deal with that and so glad to hear you found a therapist who helps!

    1. Thanks Kristin. I completely agree with you. Especially doing healthcare of any kind. I know its extremely stressful but you also have to be able to keep yourself in check.

  4. I’m sorry you had to experience that. No one should ever make a person feel like that, especially a therapist. I didn’t get help for years because of that fear. But I have an amazing therapist and I couldn’t be happier about it.

    1. Thanks Barbara. A supportive therapist really makes a difference. I have a great one now, he’s actually helped me a lot.

  5. I’m sorry your therapist made you feel that way. Frankly some people are not equipped to be effective therapists. It takes someone genuine who really has others best interests at heart. I have always said that if I stop loving what I do as a nurse I need to get out because it isn’t good for me or my patients. It sounds like this therapist needs to find a new path because this had devastating consequences. Best wishes for you and I am glad you found a therapist who genuinely cares.

    1. Thank you Angie, and I completely agree with you. I worked in health care for 12 years and once it felt like a “burden” I left. The last time I seen him was almost 3 years ago, I really hope he’s changed his attitude or left the profession

  6. I’m sorry to hear this happened to you. Can’t begin to imagine why anyone would become a therapist if they were going to act like this. Glad to hear you have found someone who is helping you.

  7. I really understand this! I am proud of you for moving forward and finding a new one. That is not how mine went. I threw the box of tissues at mine and left. Never went to another therapist again, although at the time, I should have. I hope things are still going well with your new connection.

    1. Oh dear, I’m really sorry you had that experience. That’s something I don’t wish for anyone. Yes, my current therapist is really understanding and non judgmental which is extremely appreciated. I hope if you seek help in the future you have the best assistance

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