Body acceptance changed my shopping experience

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Accepting my body as a “plus size” body was difficult. It took time for me to come to terms that this is the body I currently have. Body acceptance was definitely not on my mind.

The first time I went shopping after gaining weight was bad. I was embarrassed about how my body looked and ashamed that I had to shop at a “plus size” clothing store.

looking back on it now as a 31 year old I think my thought process was completely ridiculous but valid.

Growing up being “fat” was one of the worst things imaginable. I was so embarrassed when I had to go up sizes. I wish someone would have told me that going up sizes is normal with a growing body.

*to read about my experiences with fat shaming check out this blog post here*

As I got into my early twenties I started looking for clothes that I actually liked and that fit me. I had come across this website “Kiyonna” you can check them out here.

All of their stuff was gorgeous, and for bigger sizes. It really changed the way I thought about myself. I saw models like Ashley Graham rocking really pretty clothes. Before that I wasn’t aware of “plus size” clothing places like that.

Once I accepted that my body was now bigger than it use to be everything changed.

How did body acceptance change me?

Acceptance of the body I currently had changed everything. I would try on clothes I liked and if something looked off or didn’t fit right, I was able to separate my thoughts.

I was no longer thinking “my body was wrong” because certain styles didn’t look right or something was too tight. It’s just the way the clothes didn’t work with my body, that was not a personal attack on me.

Here’s the takeaway from this

Wear whatever you want to wear. Clothe yourself in things you love. Not everything will work for your body, and that’s okay. It’s not a personal attack on you or what you look like.

For example I’ll use “maxi dresses”. I love how easy they are, they are incredibly comfortable and just through on and go. When I put on a “maxi dress” I look like I’ve been swallowed up or like I’m drowning in fabric.

I’m short, and that’s okay. I’m not going to get any taller. Some shorter people can pull off a floor length dress or skirt, I on the other hand look like I’m wearing a tent.

It’s not a personal attack on me that the “maxi dresses” don’t work with my body, it’s just the way they are made.

Well I hope this post is a help to someone. Let me know down in the comments below if there is anything you would like to read about or could use help with pertaining to mental health, body positivity + confidence or self love + care.

Till next time fabulous humans,

Tanya xoxo

42 thoughts on “Body acceptance changed my shopping experience”

    1. Thank you, I agree. It’s extremely difficult to find clothes your comfortable with let alone love when you’re constantly taring yourself down. Just because your body looks a certain way now doesn’t mean it can’t/won’t change in the future.

    1. Thanks Teresa, I’m glad I brought some light, that’s what I strive for. Exactly, there are so many different lengths and styles out there, if something doesn’t work for you than try something else 🙂

  1. YES! it’s so important to realize that our bodies change over time and with different stages in our life. At 30 I realized my body won’t look as it did at 20, the same way I wasn’t the person I was at 20. IT hit me as I was getting ready for my wedding, and entertained the notion of dieting to look skinny in my dress. Two days of being a total bridezilla made me understand that accepting my body and being happy with it, is one option, the other is being miserable and hungry at the time I was meant to be at my happiest/ I chose the first:)

    1. Hi Madi, thanks for reading. I definitely think you made the right choice. Ya, my 31 yr old body does not look like my 20 year old body. Not that you can’t work to change it but your body is going to naturally be different as you age. It’s part of life.

  2. Such a great way to look at things. I love your perspective and am so glad you have made such a wonderful switch in your thinking. We are all perfectly imperfect!

  3. As a former ‘fat’ child who later became anorexic, I find it difficult to accept my body at ANY size. I’m never good enough for myself. One thing I have come to realise is that you can dress any sized body and fell comfortable,sexy and confident. It’s all about how you dress for your shape. For example I dress in a lot of baggy clothing because it’s easy, warm and hides my body BUT it doesn’t make me feel good. But if I branch out a bit and try on something different i.e patterned trousers and a nice top, then suddenly I feel ‘worthy’ and more confident. Nothing has changed about my body, it’s just how I’ve dressed it.

    It’s been lovely to read about your experience and I’m glad that you’ve found ways to accept your body for what it is: Strong and deserving of love!

    1. I’m sorry this is your reality. I understand where you are coming from though and I appreciate your honesty

  4. The thing is with body acceptance it doesn’t matter what size or colour you are – everyone and any once can suffer and once you are happy and grateful for your boys – everyone can be healed. Great post Thankyou for sharing

    1. You are completely right. It can affect anyone regardless of size, race or gender identity. Great comment! 🙂

  5. I relate to this so much!! I’m also a short and plus-size. I’m like a tator tot, but learning to live in and embrace my body hasn’t been easy. Body acceptance is amazing though, but it shows we are worthy regardless of weight! Great post!

    1. Thanks Jenni, side note you do not resemble a tater tot. You are gorgeous! Exactly! Your size does not determine your worth.

  6. Love this!!! Your positivity and loveliness were just shining through this post! All bodies are beautiful, no matter what size and I agree that we should all dress the way we want, not based on what “size” we are. Who came up with those rules anyway?? Thank you for sharing your story! I’m sure you’ll inspire a lot of people who might be struggling right now 🙂

    Also, I can’t pull off maxi dresses either. I look like a shape-shifting blob in them!!

    Emily | http://www.thatweirdgirllife.com

    1. Thanks Emily :-). I know right? Based on the “rules” for how to dress your body, everyone over a size 10 would be hiding theirs. Which is unfortunate. Haha, I bet you look better than a shape shifting blob. They just swallow me up and then …. poof! …. I’m gone :p

  7. Yes, body acceptance can be really difficult. You are definitely worthy and amazing! thanks for sharing because it can be so difficult to remember when someone begins to feel down. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share your feelings with others! I’ll also share on Pinterest. thanks for adding to the bloggpromoo blogger share as well. 🙂

    1. Thanks Erin, for myself personally I believe honesty is helpful. I just want people to know that they are not alone in what they have/are going through. Thanks for sharing my post, it’s really appreciated 🙂

  8. You have some really great insights in this post! As a personal stylist I get a lot of questions about what to wear on a certain body shape and if something is ok on a certain shape or not. I am determined to build women’s confidence in a body-positive way and to help them discover their own personal style. Some questions are addressed in this blog post: https://ionimage.nl/discover-your-body-shape/ Hope this helps. And yeah, rock that maxi dress! -Jenni x

    1. Hey Jenni! Thanks for reading :-). I really appreciate your mission of building confidence and body positivity, that’s great to hear <3

  9. Over the years, I’ve been my “perfect weight” as well as considerably larger and heavier than I imagined being. What I consider now my perfect weight is so different from 20 years ago!
    But I love what you say about choosing beautiful clothes for the body you have – because I tried keeping with the styles that I used to wear – resulting in total frustration.
    Now, I buy for my body – the one I have today.
    Maybe in 2 years time, I need different clothes – but for today, they are the ones that look great on THIS body.

  10. I used to hate shopping because it was such a dehumanizing experience. Once I started shopping in the plus size stores, I learned to love it. There’s a difference between clothes that come in your size and clothes that were designed with your body in mind. The fashion industry as a whole has a long way to go, but I’m thankful for stores that make it acceptable to be fat and sexy.

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience Ashley. I had a similar one. My “friends” would shop at stores like Garbage and Stiches. At the time I was a 13 in bottoms so I could just fit their biggest size. I remember asking one of the staff if the store made clothes for fatter people. She said I don’t know what you mean? I responded with all your racks have sizes 00-5. That’s it. She said they made bigger sizes they just didn’t have them on the racks.

      That ticked me off. I said “do you not want bigger sizes shopping here? Because I can take my money elsewhere, and I did. Never went in Garage again.

  11. This is so positive and something I needed to read. I still haven’t officially accepted my new mom bod. I understand it’s a process and will talk time. I stop wearing certain clothes because of my new shape. Now I usually wear leggings with an oversized top and call it a day. Shopping for clothed use to be my thing. How do you actually come to terms with your new body?

    1. Honestly for me I just realized that there are people my size who look amazing. If they can do it, why can’t I?

  12. As a teenager I had so many issues with my body and hated it, but as a young adult, accepting my body has done wonders for my shopping experience. It’s a difficult task but so worth putting in the time. So glad you got there!

  13. This is awesome! So happy to have stumbled across your blog from twitter. This is so true. The first time shopping after gaining weight is insanely difficult. I am still trying to come to terms with my weight gain

    1. Hi Mallory, thanks for visiting. I think once you find that perfect “whatever” so that everytime you have it on you know you look amazing, things will change

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