8 ways to practice self love in a world that tells you you’re not enough

Hello my Phat friends! If your are new here then welcome to my little space on the internet. If you’re a repeat reader welcome back!

As you may have guessed by the title  (see above) this post is about different ways you can practice self love and be productive in a world that is constantly telling people that they are not enough.

Just a heads up, some of these suggestions will be cliche, but honestly that is because they have been known to actually help me personally.

Here are 8 ways you can practice self love and in some cases be productive as well.



1.  Take a shower or bath.  (Yes, it’s cliche but being clean always helps me feel better)

2. Do a face mask. A detox or hydration mask are perfect for times like this. Plus, who doesn’t love healthy looking skin?

3. Read a book. Have a book you’ve been wanting to read a book thats just sitting on your shelf? Have you been eyeing a certain ebook online? (I’m looking at you Mind hunter). Then treat yourself and read that damn book!

4.  Enjoy a hot beverage. I don’t know about you guys but I find herbal tea so relaxing.  (Ask my husband, I have at least 20 different kinds of it in the cupboard).

5.  Clean out your inbox.  Cleaning out my emails makes me feel highly productive.

6. While you’re cleaning out your inbox why not respond to all those emails?  I know some people let their emails pile up so why not conquer that pile, and respond to those emails.

6. Cook something new. If you’re anything like my husband than your go to is chicken fingers and fries. Why not take this chance to try something out of your comfort zone? Seen a recipe online that you thought looked amazing? Than give it a try!

7.  Organize your closet.  I know how mornings can be, rush, rush, rush. Why not give yourself a hand and have some outfits already set up?. Live in a place that gets seasonal conditions? Than organize your closet accordingly. With Autumn around the corner it will be sweater time.

8.  Watch a movie or new show. Have you been eyeing that new movie on Netflix? Have a show you’ve been wanting to watch? Why not give it a go. You may actually enjoy it.


xx Tanya

Why are people still defining gender roles?

Hello my Phat friends! Welcome back (or for the first time) to my little space on the internet. Today’s post may offend some people so just putting a warning out there.  If you are head strong into gender roles than this post is definitely not for you.

OMG……. Can you hear that? Its my eyes rolling. I can not believe that in 2019 people are still defining gender roles. All that blue is boys and pink is for girls shit.  I can’t, I just can’t. I feel like my eyes are literally going to fall out of my head from all the rolling.

Not to say that girls cant enjoy pink and boys enjoy blue but there is an entire rainbow out there people.  As I previously stated it is 2019 and people should be well aware that people identify differently. Not everyone identifies as a boy or a girl and that is perfectly okay. I support your gender identity 100%.

So to explain, this sudden rage was brought on by a incredibly stupid Pinterest pin about little plaques made for baby showers that said something stupid such as “boys are noise and dirt” and “girls are glitter and some other stereotypical bullshit”.

Is that really how people want to raise their children? You’re pretty much just telling them who they are, no self discovery involved.

I honestly thought we had progressed further than that as a race, but obviously I was wrong. I find it incredibly sad that some people can be so shallow.

I thought we were passed the era of boys being doctors and girls being nurses but here we are.  In my place of work there is a woman who in her home they have “pink” and “blue” jobs. An example of a pink job would be doing the dishes, and a example of a blue job would be mowing the lawn.

Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently its the 1950s again where women belong in the kitchen.  *insert 100th eye roll*

What is something that leaves you dumbstruck? What gender stereotypes have you seen or heard about lately?

xx Tanya

What’s with all the fat phobia?

20190824_105755_0000Hello my Phat friends. Welcome to my little spot on the internet, if you are new here I hope my bluntness doesn’t scare you away  ;-).

Todays topic of discussion is fat phobia. If you take a look around it’s not hard to see that we still live in a world where having body fat is frowned upon.  Hollywood hardly casts fat actors, and a lot of the time when they do they are the “comedic relief” ( insert Rebel Wilson here).  Yes they have roles where actors have to gain weight to fit the character, but plus size actors are far and few between.

Let’s take for example the young adult book “Simon vs the homosapiens agenda” by Becki Albertalli. One of the main characters Leah is written to be plus size, when the book was adapted into the movie “Love, Simon” the actress who played Leah was not fat. She did not wear a fat suit or gain weight for the role.

I met Becki (the books author) at a book signing and she brought up that the actress did not have the right body type and just tended to wear a “big” sweater.  Yes, the actress played a great Leah, but she definitely wasn’t plus size.

I don’t know about you guys but I am tired of just having the fat character  be the bad guy, or the comedic relief. I want them to have a journey of self discovery, dominate on the job scene, have a killer sex life and even find love.

Being fat should not just be okay for babies and cute animals. Plus size models are getting more notice lately such as Ashley Graham and Tess Holliday. Ashley is very beautiful but I find she still fits the cookie cutter image or big boobs, hips and small waist.

It seems like being a plus size model is perfectly okay as long as you fit that criteria.  I am tired of seeing “plus size” clothing modeled by people with flat stomachs. Seriously, how many size 16 and up have flat stomachs?. Yes it is more likely with people who are tall but still.

Maybe I am living in a dream land where I have hope for the future and body inclusion but I hope its a world I live to see.

xx Tanya

Things no one tells you about becoming fat

Hello everyone! And welcome to my little space on the internet. For me blog post ideas just randomly pop into my head at very inconvenient times, like when I’m sleeping in the middle of the night, or better yet, when I’m at work.

I work in a very high security building so no cell phones allowed. Most of the time when I leave work I have forgotten my idea. Lol. But that’s my life!

Today I thought I would go over some of the things that no one tells you about becoming fat. (Yes, here in my little space on the internet the word “fat” is used).

One of the first things I noticed when I had to start buying plus size clothing was how ugly it was! This was 2007 so yes, fashion has moved forward abit. But that being said a lot of plus size clothing is ill fitted (seriously, why do designers think we want to wear a tent?). Or it came in ugly colors. Beige…. just beige. Ya, no!. Or how long the shirts were.

I use the term “shirts” loosely because these seriously could have been dresses. I’m not sure why some clothing designers think that just because you have body fat, you want to hide your body. I don’t know about you guys but I prefer my clothing to actually fit me. Just like how you wouldn’t wear a LG if you were a SM.

I didn’t realize how much more plus size clothing cost. Even if you are only going up one size, once you hit the “plus size section” clothing always costs more.

Just a little pet peeve here, seeing cute clothes in regular sizes but not in plus size. This has always bugged me. I don’t understand why once you are bigger than a XL (LG in some cases) your clothing choices become minimal.

I wasn’t prepared for the looks I would get in restaurants for ordering something that was not a salad. You just know what the server is thinking if you choose to order dessert. “OMG, she’s eating dessert?”

Or, the judgement from family members. I have been told quite a few times things such as “do you know how many calories are in that?”. Or random questions such as “how much soda do you drink a day” As I have my first one all week. Questions my trim sister would never get.

Another clothing related thing I noticed was how much it hurts to wear heels. (Weight distribution and all that jazz).

Sweating, that’s fun. I tend to get low blood sugar quite a lot so I am basically always sweating to some degree. It’s gross. (I have hypoglycemia, NOT diabetes). I’ve had low blood sugar issues for quite a few years.

Periods. I have always had horrible cycles, but once I gained weight it became so much worse. Think Niagara Falls. (Sorry for the mental image there).

On the note of menstruation, feminine hygiene products. The bigger the product (be it pads or tampons) the less you get in a box and the more expensive it is.

For buying feminine hygiene products I highly suggest getting them from a bulk foods store (like Costco if you are in Canada). I know different countries have different bulk stores to shop at.

My only issue with getting products there is the lack of selection. A lot of the time they just tend to just have “regular” in size. Seriously, who are those made for? They are tiny!.

Well that’s enough of me jabbering. Till next time 🙂

Xoxo Tanya

Let’s talk about sex

Let’s talk about sex!

Oh yes my blog loving friends, you read that right. Todays blog is indeed about sex. What’s that you ask? Do fat people really have sex? Let me answer that in plain terms. “Yes, yes we do”.

It’s a known fact that’s lots of people, regardless of age, gender, race or weight enjoy getting some sexual pleasure. I know the thought of people with body fat having sex may be a turn off to a lot of people but it really does happen! For a lot of people sex is empowering. It gives people a safe place to act out their fantasies.
Lately I’ve been obsessed with the song S&M by Rihanna. It’s severely catchy and incredibly empowering. She covers S&M topics and fetishes that are known as “taboo” and not really spoken about in public. I love it.
People with body fat having sex may be louder and sweatier (speaking from experience) but it is just as enjoyable. Expressing your sexuality is not a bad thing. When I was a teen (at 122 pounds) I rocked a short plaid skirt and fishnet stockings. And before you ask, yes my boyfriend was very happy with it, lol.
People get a lot of shade for expressing their sexuality. Whether its with their clothing, makeup, sexual preferences. It’s a shame. Sex is something that is suppose to be enjoyable. As long as it is Consensual then anything goes.

So enjoy your fat, sweaty, loud, fetish sex. You deserve it!

Let’s talk plus size assumptions


Hello, I know it has been a hot minute since my last post, I am really trying to be more consistent.

Today I would like to address something I’m sure all plus size, curvy (or yes, fat) people have had to deal with. I’m going to call it the “plus size assumptions”

For example: All plus size people are lazy. For some its true, but that being said I know plenty of skinny lazy people. This may shock you (prepare to be horrified) but some fat people actually exercise. This may hurt to hear but it is possible to exercise and have body fat.

Example 2- All plus size, curvy and fat people eat bad foods. Again for some this is true, but that being said I know a very thin woman who lives off pop tarts and Pepsi. I eat mainly fruits and salads and I’m fat. I work with some vegans who eat healthy, go to the gym everyday and yes, still have body fat.

Just because you are fat it doesn’t mean you are lazy or eat bad (let’s face it, we all have our bad habits). One person’s ideal or healthy weight may not be the same as yours and that’s okay.

Just throwing this out there because this is how I gained most of my weight but some medications (including fertility), hormone imbalances, crohns disease, amongst others can all cause weight gain. Just because you are/have fat, it does not make you a lazy person. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and each one is beautiful

Tanya xx

A day in the life, What do I eat?

Hello lovely people! I know it has been a hot minute since my first post (for that I apologize, I’ve been pretty sick).

I thought it could be interesting for some people to know what exactly I eat to “maintain” this phat physique of mine. Some of you may be intrigued to know that my weight is actually not due to gluttony or mainly eating the wrong foods.

That being said I do have a vice and it’s Dr. Pepper. Lol. I don’t drink alcohol, smoke or do drugs, you have to give me something 😉

So, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Just what do I eat?

Personally I am a HUGE lover of berries. I eat a lot of raspberries and blackberries and a couple times a week blueberries. I buy strawberries (when on sale, your girl can not afford $8 for a pint of strawberries).

I love salad and lentils (although I am trying really hard to keep my food low sodium). I try to have salmon weekly and frequently indulge in roasted veggies. (Seriously, roasted veggies are SO good).

I do not eat dairy, but will from time to time enjoy some goat cheese. I’m not a milk person, but if I do have cereal I add unsweetened almond milk.

I like pasta but rarely eat it. One of my favorite snacks is air popped popcorn and hot chocolate (yes, I drink it out of a Pikachu mug). I love a good veggie burger with lettuce, tomato and goat cheese. And when the weather is nice my husband will BBQ (last night we had steak, roasted veggies and potatoes).

As you can see by the picture I also sometimes enjoy sour candy :-).

So, why am I phat you ask? I shall tell you. Mainly it is due to medication. I gained 80 (yes, you read that right) 80 pounds from medications I have taken and my body has apparently decided that it is good where it’s at.

So theres my dirty little secret to my weight. I know its not ideal but it’s my body.

Every body is different, one person’s ideal weight may not be your ideal weight. I am a plus size (yes, fat) woman, and that is okay. Loving your body is okay. It does so much for you, try to show it a little love in return



Welcome to The Phat Girl Blog

Welcome to The Phat Girl Blog

Hello friends, and welcome to my new blog The Phat Girl Blog. I want to make this a place where all genders and orientations can come together and feel empowered

This blog will mostly be focusing on plus size (yes, fat) empowerment. Being a plus size woman myself I know how hard it can be. I know that recently (within the last couple of years) some stores started selling more fashionable clothes in bigger sizes.

I recently made a post on Twitter that just because I am fat, it doesn’t mean I want to wear an ugly tent. There is no reason that clothes in bigger sizes shouldn’t be fashionable. Like seriously, just because I’m fat that doesn’t mean I don’t want cute clothes that look nice, just like everyone else. I was vegan for 4 years, went to the gym 5 days a week and at my smallest I was 191 pounds. People come in all shapes and sizes and everyBODY is beautiful.