Fat shaming, and my experiences with it

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My experiences with fat shaming

Fat shaming is something that happens to a lot of people. For a recent example I’ll use the Duchess Megan Markle. Shortly after she had Archie people were suggesting she was already pregnant again because of her “post baby body”.

In today’s post Im going to be talking about my experiences with fat shaming. I know a lot of people can relate to this, so if you have a personal story (and are open to it) please share it in the comments below.

In the beginning I wasn’t fat

I was always very thin as a child, so much so that it caused concern among some teachers at the schools I attended.

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I was also very sick  (I have hydrocephalus).  Weight gain was never something I had to think about, with being very slim it never crossed my mind.

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So what happened?

When I entered into my teen years I started gaining weight, naturally this phenomenon tends to come with puberty (yippie).  I went from being very thin to pretty curvy in no time flat.

It caused me to become very self conscious about my weight. I remember when I was in grade 5, my teacher was going around the room and asking each student their weight  (ya, odd to me too). At that time I was 115 pounds but when the teacher got to me I remember saying I was 97 pounds. I started separating my food at lunch to make sure I didn’t eat it all. When I entered grade 6 I wasn’t eating my lunches at all. I would just throw them out so my Dad would think I ate them.

I was exceptionally self conscious about having people see me eat. It made me incredibly uncomfortable.  My Dad would weight and measure in height my siblings and I periodically. Once I was in the 120s he stopped weighting me.

I was always very active, I would swim almost every day for 3 hours, go for runs (ya, what a nut job) at 4am, and I would exercise in the basement every evening.  I was pretty intense.

By grade 9 I was 130 pounds and a size 9. I remember going on weight watchers because “I was fat”. Even when I got down to 122 pounds I still wasn’t comfortable. The boy I was obsessed with at the time made a lovely comment. We were sitting outside (about 8 of us) and I laughed and said “oh, my ass is hanging out” to which he replied “that’s not your ass, its your fat”.

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That was 15 years ago and I still remember it as if it was yesterday. When I was 16 I gained quite a bit of weight. I went from 122 to 145 pounds, and from there it just kept going up.

When I was visiting my Dad and Step Mom at age 17, I was asked by a family member “how many sodas I drink a day”. This question confused me because it was never asked of my thin sister.  The remarks just kept coming about what I shouldn’t be consuming. It because so severe that I refused to eat in the same room as said family member, because honestly no know wants to be harrassed everytime they put food in their mouth.

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In my 20s I became more “stable” with my body image, although I still received comments like “did you eat lunch?, because you could afford to skip a few”.

Seriously, don’t say that to people. Its extremely hurtful and honestly incredibly rude.

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Are my 30s any different?

Even now at 31 I still get it. With recent health issues it was brought up to me by my Dad that they are probably because I’m overweight and consume to much sugar.  On a completely related note, my health issues have NOTHING  to do with my body fat. No I do NOT have diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol. It’s just that I am fat.

With posting this I just want people to know that they are not alone. Its perfectly fine to want to change your body, and its perfectly fine to love it as it is as well.

Throughout your life you body will change. Whether that be from age, having kids, or just life. That’s okay though. Keep in mind that the body you have now may not be the same as your body in 5 years.

Let me know some of your fat shaming stories in the comments below. If you enjoy my content I’d love it if you would show your support and subscribe to my blog.

Till next time

Tanya  xoxo

36 thoughts on “Fat shaming, and my experiences with it”

  1. I have been big al of my life. I lost 10 stone in recent years and now it’s going back on and I’m struggling.

    The worst fat shaming I face is from my inner demons.

    Thank you for sharing x x

  2. Vitamin and iron deficiencies are the worst & can lead to so many other things but sadly it’s hardly ever talked about! Thanks for bringing attention to this & I hope your health continues to get better 🙂

    MB

  3. People are so awful. The worst part is sometimes your family is more cruel to you than strangers. Ive never been fat shamed but occassionally my mom will say to me “You’re a beautiful woman…you’d be stunning if you lot weight”. Whenever she says that I walk away from her as she yells after me “What?! I said you were beautiful”. How ignorant. Anyway, you don’t owe an explanation for how your body looks to anyone. Keep your head up,girl!!!

    1. That’s mean. My Dad once made beeping sounds when I walked backwards. I don’t think people understand how comments like that stay with you

  4. I will never understand why other people feel the need to police our bodies or even think they have a right to comment/that their opinion matters. Unless I specifically ask someone about my body it’s none of their business!

    Thanks for sharing!

    1. I completely agree Molly. I will not however go as far as saying you can’t compliment someone though (without being creepy). For whatever reason some people just think they have the right to run their mouth whether they think you are too fat or in Andrea’s case (see above comment) that you are too thin.

      It’s one thing to say to someone “that color looks great on you”, it’s a completely different (and inappropriate thing) to suggest that something brings out their shape, makes them look fat, old, whatever. People need to stop policing other people’s bodies and just worry about themselves.

  5. I’m about to turn 45, but I’ve been big nearly my entire life despite being fairly active for most of it.
    The biggest problem for me is, despite being large, feeling invisible, like our opinions don’t matter, or that being large somehow makes us stupid.

    1. Hi Emmy, I think your opinions are very valid and a lot of people can relate to this. Some people just automatically see something they “disapprove” of and think something hurtful like “they don’t matter”.

      Even when I was 150 pounds I had gone into some clothing stores and been completely ignored. Now I’m 237 pounds.

      You deserve to feel comfortable and confident with your body. I’m not saying you can’t want to change it, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that you deserve to be happy at any size.

  6. Body image and fat shaming are things I’ve struggled with as well. I recently lost 15 pounds and someone had the nerve to say that I was too skinny. It’s never enough! I wish people would mind their own business. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Thanks for reading Andrea. Sometimes weight loss can intimidate other people, most likely because its something they too would like to do but for whatever reason hasn’t. You just have to worry about being happy with yourself. Screw the haters 😉

  7. No one has the right to shame anyone. Travelling through SEAsian countries quite often as I entered a clothing store a skinny usually older staff would shoo me out saying too fat, big arm, nothing fit you!!! So rude!! Great post thankyou.

    1. Hey Lyn, I’m sorry they were nasty to you. I’ve been in stores (in Canada) where all they have on the racks are size 0-5. I just smh. If they dont want to have my size then they don’t get my money.

  8. I’m sorry those people thought it was okay to comment on your diet and body. Remember, the problem lies in them, not you. They’re rude and cruel!

    I think you’re pretty and I hope your health issues get resolved soon!

    1. Thanks Julie for your kind words. Now as I’m in my 30s I’ve learned I don’t care what others think of my body. It only matters what I think

  9. I’ve always carried around a few extra pounds and have basically been on a diet for as long as I can remember. Having thin sisters didn’t help either. Heavier people have always called me thin. Thinner people have called me fat. Many of my friends were overweight as well. I remember walking down the hall with two of them in high school and a boy behind us telling his girlfriend, “Great. We’re stuck behind the three fattest girls in school.” I think about that memory way more than I should. I know that I’ll never be stick thin unless I get really sick. In fact, I’m gaining more and more as I age, and it’s harder to shed. But I do the best I can. That’s all anyone can do. Even thin people hear it as an insult. So, there is no weight that will satisfy everyone. And being too thin isn’t healthy either. You’ll never be able to rid the world of fat-shamers, but it’s important to know that you’re not alone. And you don’t want to stoop to their level. Cause we need less of them. Not more.

    1. I completely agree with you Laura. People will always find a way to comment on your weight, whether they think you need to gain or lose weight. Some people are just naturally very thin, that is their body type. Other people like me aren’t. Every BODY is different and thats okay.

  10. I got teased so much for my thinness in high school that I just knew gaining weight would work. Surprise surprise people still found a way to influence my thoughts of myself. I gained weight and everyone kept asking f if I was preg8😂😒

    1. Oh Jess, people will always find a way to comment on something. If you’re thin that you’re anorexic, if you have extra weight than you’re obese. You can’t win. I have no idea why other people think that others bodies are their business to begin with. Smh

  11. First, thanks for sharing <3 So sorry that you had to deal with shit people like that. The hate people have for those who don't fit some generic, expected sizing is unreal. And that they mask their comments in the guise of "help" or worry for your health is even more disgusting and insidious.

  12. It’s never not shocking to read or hear those comments. I just can’t believe the lengths some people will go to…and often people I quite like and respect will absolutely alienate themselves from me by unexpectedly saying something fatphobic…and then thinking it’s ok because they wouldn’t say that “normally”. Thank you for sharing your experiences, you must be a very strong spirit ❤️

    1. Thank you for your kind words. I definitely agree with you. Some people think it’s okay to acentually just “slide a comment in” because they normally don’t say anything. Unless personally asked by said person, it is never a good idea to comment on someones body size. I hear people say comments about other people’s weight all the time and I just think to myself “why does this even matter to you?”. Smh

  13. Hello! I admire your courage to talk about your weight. Nowadays, people who are overweight are constantly neglected and shunned. Which is not good in my opinion, some people can be really rude. I can imagine how you felt. In my opinion, every person should be respected for what he is and what he has achieved, not how he looks like! ❤️

  14. it can be so hard to have family members pick you apart like what you described. I have never had this happen to me, but my step sister did. I remember wondering what the deal was. It was the opposite though, she was too skinny. It was constant with people asking her about food. She was food obsessed and it was such a huge issue. Sad to watch anyone being shammed! I am glad you are working through it all!

    1. Hi Jody, thanks for reading. Yes, funny enough I’ve been on the receiving end of both sides. When I was a kid I was stick thin, now I’m more cave shaped lol. I just think people who are others down like that are insecure about themselves and unhappy.

  15. I enjoyed your post. I wasn’t fat my whole life either. I was thin as a child as well even before I became an very active athlete in high school. I became very curvy during puberty as well, but being an athlete in track and field helped with any weight issues that may have occurred from teenage body changes. After I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder at 14 years old, sports helped alot with my stress eating… It wasn’t until my college years when I stopped being an active athlete that the weight started to compound on. Then it got worse when I had a manic episode in my senior year of college and had to be put on meds to cope with my mental issue. Now it’s even worse after I’ve had my daughter, and I’m recently divorced. My life has constant ups and downs, but I choose to never give up. Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s always nice to know that you’re not alone.

    1. Hi, thanks for reading. Yes! If you ever feel alone message me, I am always here to listen. I’m really proud of you for not giving up.

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