Let’s do it! My experience with periods

Time to talk periods

Hello my Phat friends! Glad to have you back and if this is your first time visiting then welcome to my blog.  Today’s post is about something extremely natural that a lot of people find “icky” and refuse to talk about it. Today’s post is about “the elmo”, “your rag” , “your flow” “your period aka menstrual cycle”.  So for people who get disgusted easily this post is about uterus blood. Take that as you will.

Okay, so it’s no secret that heavier people tend to have heavier menstrual cycles. Let’s face it, you cant be this fabulous without having a curse every now and again.

This is just ridiculous!

I’d like to talk about how ridiculous  pad sizes have become. I honestly don’t know who they make these for. I have the cycle from Hell so naturally I bought heavy pads, they were tiny.

The average woman is a size 14, so if they are not making pads for the “average woman” just who are they making them for? Before someone points it out I also realize that not just women have periods, it also includes members of the trans community, non binary, gender fluid and those who do not gender identify.

When did it all start?

I started my period very young, I was 9. Yes, it sucked. I remember running to and from the house to the bathroom because I didn’t know why this was happening. I wasn’t scared or grossed out, just mostly confused.

I didn’t learn till a year later what it was…. ya, I hid that fucker for a year. Thinking about that now it seems pretty nuts.

I would get severe cramping and back pain. It was horrible.

I always loved the commercials they had for menstrual products. It would have some woman running through a feild a flowers because apparently that’s what people who are on their period do.

Or how they always wear white bottoms, whether it’s a skirt, pants or shorts.  I steer clear of white clothes on a regular day, I most definitely will NOT wear white bottoms while on my period.

Yes, this really happened

So to build on the above paragraphs I have always had a very heavy menstrual cycle. In grade 5 (on picture day I might add) I stupidly thought it would be a fantastic idea to wear all white.  Yes, I had my period, and to make things worse I never noticed.

Just to paint a picture here, white jeans, blood all over the ass, and obviously the front. At that time I did not willingly use public restrooms (unless it was a emergency), so naturally not having peed all day I never noticed that my white jeans were covered in blood.

It actually was not brought to my attention till after school. Yep…….. I went all day with blood soaked white jeans.

Naturally the jeans didn’t survive and were thrown out and I never made the mistake of wearing white jeans ever again!

Let me know down in the comments if you have any cringe worthy period stories. If you enjoy my content don’t forget to subscribe  🙂

 

Till next time

Tanya  xoxo

My experiences with fat shaming

My experiences with fat shaming

 

Hello my friends! I realize it has been a hot minute since I last posted and for that I apologize. I refuse to give you excuses,  I never want to lie to you guys or come off as fake.

If you are new to this blog then welcome! I am a “free spirit” when it comes to writing to you have been warned. If you’re a repeat visitor than thank you for your support.

In today’s post Im going to be talking about my experiences with fat shaming. I know a lot of people can relate to this, so if you have a personal story (and are open to it) please share it in the comments below.

In the beginning

I was always very thin as a child, so much so that it caused concern among some teachers at the schools I attended.

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I was also very sick  (I have hydrocephalus).  Weight gain was never something I had to think about, with being very slim it never crossed my mind.

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So what happened?

As I got into my teen years I started gaining weight, naturally this phenomenon tends to come with puberty (yippie).  I went from being very thin to pretty curvy in no time flat.

I was very self conscious about my weight. I remember when I was in grade 5, my teacher was going around the room and asking each student their weight  (ya, odd to me too). At that time I was 115 pounds but when the teacher got to me I remember saying I was 97 pounds. I started separating my food at lunch to make sure I didn’t eat it all. When I entered grade 6 I wasn’t eating my lunches at all. I would just throw them out so my Dad would think I ate them.

I was exceptionally self conscious about having people see me eat. It made me incredibly uncomfortable.  My Dad would weight and measure in height my siblings and I periodically. Once I was in the 120s he stopped weighting me.

I was always very active, I would swim almost every day for 3 hours, go for runs (ya, what a nut job) at 4am, and I would exercise in the basement every evening.  I was pretty intense.

By grade 9 I was 130 pounds and a size 9. I remember going on weight watchers because “I was fat”. Even when I got down to 122 pounds I still wasn’t comfortable. The boy I was obsessed with at the time made a lovely comment. We were sitting outside (about 8 of us) and I laughed and said “oh, my ass is hanging out” to which he replied “that’s not your ass, its your fat”.

That was 15 years ago and I still remember it as if it was yesterday. When I was 16 I gained quite a bit of weight. I went from 122 to 145 pounds, and from there it just kept going up.

When I was visiting my Dad and Step Mom at age 17, I was asked by a family member “how many sodas I drink a day”. This question confused me because it was never asked of my thin sister.  The remarks just kept coming about what I shouldn’t be consuming. It because so severe that I refused to eat in the same room as said family member, because honestly no know wants to be harrassed everytime they put food in their mouth.

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In my 20s I became more “stable” with my body image, although I still received comments like “did you eat lunch?, because you could afford to skip a few”.

Seriously, don’t say that to people. Its extremely hurtful and honestly incredibly rude.

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Even now at 31 I still get it. With recent health issues it was brought up to me by my Dad that they are probably because Im overweight and consume to much sugar.  On a completely related note, my health issues have NOTHING  to do with my body fat. I do NOT have diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol. I am just fat.

I do have low vitamin d and low iron, which has been the cause of my health problems.

With posting this I just want people to know that they are not alone. Its perfectly fine to want to change your body, and its perfectly fine to love it as it is as well.

Let me know some of your fat shaming stories in the comments below. If you enjoy my content I’d love it if you would show your support and subscribe to my blog.

Till next time

Tanya  xoxo

What’s with all the fat phobia?

20190824_105755_0000Hello my Phat friends. Welcome to my little spot on the internet, if you are new here I hope my bluntness doesn’t scare you away  ;-).

Todays topic of discussion is fat phobia. If you take a look around it’s not hard to see that we still live in a world where having body fat is frowned upon.  Hollywood hardly casts fat actors, and a lot of the time when they do they are the “comedic relief” ( insert Rebel Wilson here).  Yes they have roles where actors have to gain weight to fit the character, but plus size actors are far and few between.

Let’s take for example the young adult book “Simon vs the homosapiens agenda” by Becki Albertalli. One of the main characters Leah is written to be plus size, when the book was adapted into the movie “Love, Simon” the actress who played Leah was not fat. She did not wear a fat suit or gain weight for the role.

I met Becki (the books author) at a book signing and she brought up that the actress did not have the right body type and just tended to wear a “big” sweater.  Yes, the actress played a great Leah, but she definitely wasn’t plus size.

I don’t know about you guys but I am tired of just having the fat character  be the bad guy, or the comedic relief. I want them to have a journey of self discovery, dominate on the job scene, have a killer sex life and even find love.

Being fat should not just be okay for babies and cute animals. Plus size models are getting more notice lately such as Ashley Graham and Tess Holliday. Ashley is very beautiful but I find she still fits the cookie cutter image or big boobs, hips and small waist.

It seems like being a plus size model is perfectly okay as long as you fit that criteria.  I am tired of seeing “plus size” clothing modeled by people with flat stomachs. Seriously, how many size 16 and up have flat stomachs?. Yes it is more likely with people who are tall but still.

Maybe I am living in a dream land where I have hope for the future and body inclusion but I hope its a world I live to see.

xx Tanya

Things no one tells you about becoming fat

Hello everyone! And welcome to my little space on the internet. For me blog post ideas just randomly pop into my head at very inconvenient times, like when I’m sleeping in the middle of the night, or better yet, when I’m at work.

I work in a very high security building so no cell phones allowed. Most of the time when I leave work I have forgotten my idea. Lol. But that’s my life!

Today I thought I would go over some of the things that no one tells you about becoming fat. (Yes, here in my little space on the internet the word “fat” is used).

One of the first things I noticed when I had to start buying plus size clothing was how ugly it was! This was 2007 so yes, fashion has moved forward abit. But that being said a lot of plus size clothing is ill fitted (seriously, why do designers think we want to wear a tent?). Or it came in ugly colors. Beige…. just beige. Ya, no!. Or how long the shirts were.

I use the term “shirts” loosely because these seriously could have been dresses. I’m not sure why some clothing designers think that just because you have body fat, you want to hide your body. I don’t know about you guys but I prefer my clothing to actually fit me. Just like how you wouldn’t wear a LG if you were a SM.

I didn’t realize how much more plus size clothing cost. Even if you are only going up one size, once you hit the “plus size section” clothing always costs more.

Just a little pet peeve here, seeing cute clothes in regular sizes but not in plus size. This has always bugged me. I don’t understand why once you are bigger than a XL (LG in some cases) your clothing choices become minimal.

I wasn’t prepared for the looks I would get in restaurants for ordering something that was not a salad. You just know what the server is thinking if you choose to order dessert. “OMG, she’s eating dessert?”

Or, the judgement from family members. I have been told quite a few times things such as “do you know how many calories are in that?”. Or random questions such as “how much soda do you drink a day” As I have my first one all week. Questions my trim sister would never get.

Another clothing related thing I noticed was how much it hurts to wear heels. (Weight distribution and all that jazz).

Sweating, that’s fun. I tend to get low blood sugar quite a lot so I am basically always sweating to some degree. It’s gross. (I have hypoglycemia, NOT diabetes). I’ve had low blood sugar issues for quite a few years.

Periods. I have always had horrible cycles, but once I gained weight it became so much worse. Think Niagara Falls. (Sorry for the mental image there).

On the note of menstruation, feminine hygiene products. The bigger the product (be it pads or tampons) the less you get in a box and the more expensive it is.

For buying feminine hygiene products I highly suggest getting them from a bulk foods store (like Costco if you are in Canada). I know different countries have different bulk stores to shop at.

My only issue with getting products there is the lack of selection. A lot of the time they just tend to just have “regular” in size. Seriously, who are those made for? They are tiny!.

Well that’s enough of me jabbering. Till next time 🙂

Xoxo Tanya

Let’s talk plus size assumptions

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Hello, I know it has been a hot minute since my last post, I am really trying to be more consistent.

Today I would like to address something I’m sure all plus size, curvy (or yes, fat) people have had to deal with. I’m going to call it the “plus size assumptions”

For example: All plus size people are lazy. For some its true, but that being said I know plenty of skinny lazy people. This may shock you (prepare to be horrified) but some fat people actually exercise. This may hurt to hear but it is possible to exercise and have body fat.

Example 2- All plus size, curvy and fat people eat bad foods. Again for some this is true, but that being said I know a very thin woman who lives off pop tarts and Pepsi. I eat mainly fruits and salads and I’m fat. I work with some vegans who eat healthy, go to the gym everyday and yes, still have body fat.

Just because you are fat it doesn’t mean you are lazy or eat bad (let’s face it, we all have our bad habits). One person’s ideal or healthy weight may not be the same as yours and that’s okay.

Just throwing this out there because this is how I gained most of my weight but some medications (including fertility), hormone imbalances, crohns disease, amongst others can all cause weight gain. Just because you are/have fat, it does not make you a lazy person. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and each one is beautiful

Tanya xx